One interpretation that has been considerably bugging me recently has been related to 1 Corinthians 7:25-35, where Paul delivers his opinion related to marriage and celibacy. Many people, especially single teenagers, read this passage and immediately apply it to our American dating mentality whereas Paul is addressing celibacy. Right there, you see that we don't have the right understanding.
For instance, I hear people say that Paul discourages marriage because it is a hinderance our relationship with the Lord. First of all, you're declaring celibacy, because if you're called to marriage then you're in trouble. Were this interpretation true, you'd have two problems: (1) discontinuity with the rest of scripture and (2) marriage would have to be abolished in the church. Truly, if marriage is somehow a stumbling block between you and God, then you've got it backwards.
Another instance, I hear people, including many pastors use 1 Corinthians 7 to validate singleness, or namely, those who are not dating but waiting for marriage. Again, this is not about whether or not you should date, this is about whether or not you should get married... ever. This is not your one verse that validates your singleness, in fact if you know you're called to marriage (as 99% are), then you need to get delivered from this mindset that singleness is holiness. Singleness is not holiness if celibacy is not your calling. You are not any less pure if you get married, and you are not any less holy or consecrated if marriage is your calling. If you are called to celibacy and you get married, then that's another story, and if you're called to marriage, and you give yourself to celibacy, then grace, grace to you.
Now, I am not condoning casual dating at all. I am a huge proponent of only dating with marriage as the intention. Truly, there is nothing you should be doing that you can't do as good friends until you are ready to pursue the thought of marriage. Casual dating scientifically prepares you for divorce, but this is another exposition.
Consider 1 Corinthians 7:17, "Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." If you are called to marriage, then you should pursue marriage, if you are called to be single, then you should pursue the Lord apart from a spouse. I remember several years ago I was in college and single with no prospects and I knew I was called to marriage, so I prayed this prayer: "Lord, you called me to marriage, and I want to be in your will, so give me favor in this pursuit as it is your calling over my life." Guess who I dated next... my wife! Just sayin'... we need to get out of the dating game and get into intentional dating under the leadership of Jesus.
Here's another nice tidbit from Paul on marriage. Consider 1 Timothy 4:1-5 where Paul (the same author) testifies concerning the signs of the end of the age. It is believed that Paul discourages marriage according to 1 Corinthians 7 because "time is short," related to the return of Jesus. But here in 1 Timothy 4, Paul makes it clear that the sign of the times related to marriage will be FALSE teachers who FORBID marriage. So how can Paul discourage marriage in 1 Corinthians 7 because Jesus is coming and then say that false teachers at the end of the age will forbid marriage? Under that interpretation, Paul is a false teacher!
This contradiction lies not in the Scripture but in our understanding of the Paul's intention. So what are we to think about marriage? Are we to abstain from marriage? Not if marriage is your calling. Everything and everyone has their season, but don't think you're staying single because it somehow helps your relationship with God.
This post has gotten too lengthy, so I'll bring it to a close. Just consider that marriage is actually a key establishment towards you becoming more like Christ. Marriage actually better conforms you to the image of Christ. Marriage was established before sin entered the world, so marriage does not exist to fix a sin issue. Rather, marriage was a part of God's perfection. The issue is humility and dependance on God. If anything will benefit your relationship with the Lord, how about the daily sacrificial love of marriage and denial of self. You want to carry your cross daily and put someone else before yourself, get married. I'm telling you, there is no better way to grow in your relationship with and dependance upon the Lord than to get married. Marriage is glorious. It is only as hard as each of you are prideful. Besides, we need babies!
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