It's The Little Things

Well, Molly has been battling some sort of illness for the last few days (not due to her current pregnancy) and has had a very rough weekend. Poor Molly has had a difficult pregnancy, but thankfully Samuel seems to have been perfect the entire time. Anyway we were at the hospital, getting her checked in just to be monitored because of her spiking fever and poor Molly was as exhausted as could be. We've slept very little in the last 48 hours and although I am a determined servant to my wife, I was certainly feeling the strain that Molly's illness was having on me. No husband wants to see his wife pregnant at 39 weeks be this sick. And after days of prayer and tireless work and pain (on her part), I was looking for a silver lining.

Yet, I have so looked forward to this day, the day(s) when I really get the opportunity to be a servant in greater ways to my wife. I remember on my wedding day thinking of days like this when I made my vows. I wrote my own vows thinking of the days of difficulty and trial. Today is a day of trial, certainly one of our greatest trials thus far, but I am glad to have it because this is why I entered into covenant. Marriage isn't marriage until you get the chance to serve in great trials like these.

In my disparity of the moment, the Lord played a little practical joke on me. When I was young, I collected Hot Wheels cars, and not just any Hot Wheels, I collected Dodge Viper Hot Wheels. Any color or body style, I wanted them all, and I had around 24 of them all in a little carrying case (I still have them to this day). To me, they were special, something I chose to collect for fun, and my favorite of all was the blue Viper with white racing stripes (the classic)!

Every once and while (maybe once every 2 years), I look at Wal-Mart to see if there are any more blue Vipers for sale in the Hot Wheels isle, and I haven't seen one probably since I was 10. Well tonight, we're at the hospital and we were trying to figure out how to extend the couch-bed conversion so that I could sleep (more or less, the thing is so uncomfortable). When we pulled the couch away from the wall, there was a little blue Viper with white racing stripes! OF ALL THINGS, my favorite little Hot Wheels collectable hiding behind the couch!

And I realize, even now, that these are the moments I am collecting, the moments where I get to serve my wife and give everything I have for her. In the midst of this trial, God is saying "these are the moments you want to collect and even search for, times when you get to give everything you have to serve your wife." Suddenly the great privilege of this trial comes to light and I realize the honor I have to be here with Molly, God's beloved daughter.

Each day the Lord coaches me a little more into becoming to husband Molly deserves, and this little Hot Wheels car will be a reminder for me for years to come. As for Molly, we aren't exactly sure what's causing her illness, it seems like some sort of virus, but Samuel is a-happy and a-kick'n no worries. We'll know more soon but for now we're just monitoring her and relieving some of the symptoms. Right now she's sleeping peacefully in the bed next to my chair and Samuel's heart is pumping at a perfect 145 bpm. Tomorrow is a new day, and that means new mercies. More, Lord!

My Amazing Wife

I would like to take a moment to brag about my amazing wife! We have been married for over a year and half (not so long) and now we're only days away from delivering our firstborn son! I could not be more excited!

She has done so much to make me happy and has been the most loving person I've ever met. The fact that she would uproot herself and move to Kansas City to spend her life with me is a testimony to her ability to love and to her selflessness. God designed us to go perfect together and I am soooooo thankful to have met her and now be together for the rest of our lives. I would be a selfish mess without her.

If I'm old and grey (or even bald), and she goes to heaven first, I have every right to my grumpy old ways because life is unbearable without her. She has a joy and an excitement as well as a peaceful sweetness that I can't live without. My eyes suffer for lack of beauty when we're apart too long. She truly is my joy and my strength in so many situations. When my spirit is weak, she builds me up. Truly he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

I love her presence, just to have her in the same room puts me at ease. Even the most fleeting eye contact is enough to make my heart skip a beat. Her smile is dangerously addictive and I love to hear her laugh. She has her own unique personality filled with endless discoveries and adventures. Each day I take refuge in the fact that I will eventually be beside her as we sleep.

She has always had a provoking understanding of the significance of living holy to the Lord. She has always desired to serve the Lord with all of her heart, and this is the most attractive thing about her. She has taken the role of a servant in the most extravagant of ways, far more than I am willing to this day. God never fails her.

She is and always will be, the love of my life; the one to whom I have pledged all of my heart as we seek the Lord. I am so blessed to have her as a wife and as the mother of my children. I could not have asked for a more beautiful bride and I thank the Lord for his mercy to have blessed me with such an amazing partner. If you have not met her, you're missing out. She's Molly Bloom, and I am proud to call her my wife. I can only hope to live to be the man she deserves, by God's grace.

Now with Samuel almost here, we're about to start the largest chapter in our earthly ministry; parenthood. Before now I would have been terrified at this concept, but I have found complete confidence in Molly. I am extremely excited about becoming a dad, but I am even more excited to have her as his mother. Molly is going to be an amazing mother, and Samuel is a lucky little boy!

I love you, Molly!

Why Humanity Chooses Hell

As Americanized Christians, we have a hard enough time reconciling the existence of hell. How could a good God send people to eternal punishment? Obviously the instance of this question exposes our utter lack of the knowledge of God, but even more so it exposes our lack of understanding our own propensity to sin against God. The issue of hell is not a God issue, it is a sinful man issue, and to think that we don't deserve hell is the perhaps the greatest lie we can fall into.

Let's look at Romans chapter 7:

For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

That was a lot of text, but in it Paul clearly outlines something called the law of sin or the "Mystery of Iniquity" that we all carry as sinful people (see Romans 3:23). The very fact that we have sinned, rejecting the perfect leadership of Jesus, is punishable by eternal damnation. There is no one more holy or perfect or kind or loving who rules any greater than Yahweh, and to reject his leadership is treason against love.

Who would sin in a perfect world? YOU! So would I! Or did Adam and Eve, having been with God, dwelling with Him in the garden, not reject his perfect leadership in paradise? At that moment, the law of sin took effect, infecting the entire human race. That day, humanity chose to reject the perfect leadership of Yahweh... Humanity, knowing the punishment, chose sin! Satan didn't shove anything down anyone's throat, and you cannot say that you would have responded any differently. We are now subject to futility, to the law of sin and this desire of iniquity.

This is true of humanity throughout history! We have a propensity to purposefully reject the leadership of Jesus and choose hell. We do it knowingly! Do you not think that every time you sin you crucify Jesus again choosing the punishment of hell over His promises (Hebrews 6:6)?!

Again and again, humanity chooses hell rather than to subject themselves to the leadership of Yahweh (Psalm 2 is a great Biblical example). And it will continue to happen; at the end of the millennial reign of Jesus after His second coming on earth, the nations reject the leadership of Jesus AGAIN!

And when the thousand years are ended, Satan will be released from his prison and will come out to deceive the nations that are at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them for battle; their number is like the sand of the sea. Revelation 20:7-8

Even after Jesus has been ruling and reigning on the earth with resurrected saints who are without sin, the remaining inhabitance of the earth who are without resurrected bodies (and thus still subject to iniquity) reject His leadership again, choosing the punishment rather than the promise, with the promise right in front of them!

Thus, we cannot place any accusation against the leadership of Jesus. The lake of fire is not a place where "innocent people" spend eternity, because all are guilty. Make no mistake, humanity rejects Jesus (which is made even clearer in the End Time events).The mystery of iniquity is that we continually reject our savior and the promise of salvation. We choose hell, thinking that the immediate pleasure is somehow better than the everlasting.

Thankfully, there is hope. Thus Paul exhorts us in Romans 8, just following his lament about the law of sin, to surrender our lives to Jesus and wage war against this law with the power of the Holy Spirit.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death... For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit... You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you... For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:1-2,5,9,18

Even though we choose hell, God still desires us (1 John 4:19), and offers us salvation through repentance and subjection to the leadership of Jesus. There is no salvation apart from Jesus, He is the way of salvation. Therefore choose life.

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them. Deuteronomy 30:19-20